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rgfellows:

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.
However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 
See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 
He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 
So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 
Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 
The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 
And it stayed.
Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

rgfellows:

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.

However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 

See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 

He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 

So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 

Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

image

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 

The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 

And it stayed.

Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

image

(via spiberman)

If you believe…

They put the man on moon…

*38

Dear Royals,
Do you recognize that feeling? You love Francis so much that you’d do anything to defend them and keep them away from harm? You feel like a character is just misunderstood? Recognize he has faults but feel like he’s a ball of sunshine and needs to be protected at all costs?
Then the FVDS is the place for you!
The idea came from the Felicity Smoak Defense Squad, wittyfelicity (kudos to Manon) and me set up a while ago, and I thought, why not for Francis? I have seen a lot of people who often don’t really understand his character.
The idea is to show our support for a character and try to reason with the haters. Make it clear why we don’t agree with the way they see him.(NOTE that this does in NO way justify rude behaviour. This is not an army, but a SQUAD. So be nice while defending him! This is a positive environment and we can all have our own opinions. Don’t force someone to agree with you, just simply reason with them.)
How to be a part of the Squad:
follow francisvaloisdefensesquad (the members page updates itself)
Go to the page and download one of the badges to put on your blog. (You can also use them as stamps at the end of a post to show that you’re a part of the squad.)
Start defending.
If there are any further questions, my askbox is open 24/7. Let’s show our favourite king how much we support him! 




Great picture for squad.  This is better than Catherine’s flying squad.😇👮

Dear Royals,

Do you recognize that feeling? You love Francis so much that you’d do anything to defend them and keep them away from harm? You feel like a character is just misunderstood? Recognize he has faults but feel like he’s a ball of sunshine and needs to be protected at all costs?

Then the FVDS is the place for you!

The idea came from the Felicity Smoak Defense Squad, wittyfelicity (kudos to Manon) and me set up a while ago, and I thought, why not for Francis? I have seen a lot of people who often don’t really understand his character.

The idea is to show our support for a character and try to reason with the haters. Make it clear why we don’t agree with the way they see him.(NOTE that this does in NO way justify rude behaviour. This is not an army, but a SQUAD. So be nice while defending him! This is a positive environment and we can all have our own opinions. Don’t force someone to agree with you, just simply reason with them.)

How to be a part of the Squad:

  1. follow francisvaloisdefensesquad (the members page updates itself)
  2. Go to the page and download one of the badges to put on your blog. (You can also use them as stamps at the end of a post to show that you’re a part of the squad.)
  3. Start defending.

If there are any further questions, my askbox is open 24/7. Let’s show our favourite king how much we support him! 

Great picture for squad. This is better than Catherine’s flying squad.😇👮

(Source: ladyofscots, via s-eyfrieds)

*1

Awkward

That awkward pause in a conversation using a different language.

You freeze. Try to translate a phrase in your mind palace because your immediate thoughts are in your native tongue.

Even more awkward when you blurt out the phrase in your native tongue.

Linguist problems are real. Mind translations are freaking hard. Don’t drink too much. ☺🐶🐸🐍☺😀😀

Reign and True Blood

I fear Reign writers will make Francis and Mary be their version of Bill and Sookie from True Blood, you know when the writers want OOC, in True Blood’s case, when the writer made Bill so OOC that people were so over the pairing and wanted Sookie to be with anyone and everyone except Bill.

Reign has already OOC-ed Francis and Mary for what they think is a great angsty storylines,*rolls eyes*, but its only making people irritated. And gearing towards, shall we say, “This is a nightmare. Wake me up before November ends.”

One thing also, l think Reign succeeded in nurturing anger/hate against mistresses, but not married people cheating on each other or even men-stresses? At the top of my head, I don’t know what to call men who are having relations with married women. How pathetic is that?

l wonder if Reign is going to make Darnley as Mary’s OTP. Or maybe Bothell. Oh dear, l feel like real life Mary would have a fit.

*59

FRANCIS

kayeberrie:

elliechamber:

I think Francis is being such a hypocrytical brat. He told Lola that the baby is whoever he says it is. First he did not want the kid now all of a sudden he wants to keep his son when just a couple hours ago Francis was willing to give him up? Everybody is getting mad at Lola because she is in the…

image

Okay. Okay. Let me break this down:

He told Lola that the baby is whoever he says it is.” I’ll admit: Francis wasn’t showing much sympathy here. However, you must think about this statement in context. First of all, it’s true. Second of all, up until the moment she gave birth, Lola had fully intended to pass this child off as Julien’s and never allow Francis to know the truth about his own child. This statement from Francis reflects his justifiable anger over that fact coming to light: You intended to lie to me and the world about who this child is. How does it feel now that the tables could be turned?

First he did not want the kid now all of a sudden he wants to keep his son when just a couple of hours ago Francis was willing to give him up?” Set the scene: Henry is dead. Francis has just become king, learned he himself is a father, been informed that his wife has been lying to him for months, and, oh yeah, there’s this plague thingy going around. If you would be perfectly clearheaded and rational in his place, go ahead and cast stones. Personally, I see it as absolutely realistic that he struggled with mixed feelings and indecision over Lola and this baby. His entire life at the moment is, quite frankly, a mess.

I also think that his not “wanting” the child had more to do with his love for Mary than anything. It’s not that he doesn’t want the child—it’s that he doesn’t want to hurt his wife, the woman he loves. Unfortunately, in this situation, that is going to be impossible.

And, let’s not forget, Francis is operating under the realization that Lola did not want him involved in this baby’s life, and when he meets the baby for the first time he’s doing so knowing that Lola never intended for him to be involved, never wanted Francis to know or touch his own child, and that had she not been convinced she would die and leave the baby orphaned and helpless, she would have kept them apart forever.

He could have let her get on that ship so she could have freedom with her son, but no. Francis is the one who all of a sudden ‘has a connection’ with the kid.” He cares about his son and wants to be a father. Goddamn that selfish bastard to hell.

By the way, Lola is not a slave. She is being taken back to court, where she has been living of her own free will since the beginning of the series. Had she wanted to leave France and its court badly enough, Mary no doubt would have granted her permission to return to her family in Scotland.

I honestly feel so bad for the son. He is going to be known around the castle as the bastard child. He will grow up knowing he will never inherit the crown unless he is legitimized, which just might be a possibility.” Every child in France, save one, grows up knowing he will never inherit the crown—Francis’s sisters and younger brothers are no exception. It’s not exactly a soul-crushing realization. Not having to become king is actually something for which Bash has always felt some gratitude. In fact, Francis envied his brother for not having to bear the brunt of the royal duties. Let’s also be clear: being a royal bastard did not automatically come with a stigma. They were often granted titles and lands and made successful marriages. Bash may be a bastard, but he has lived in the luxury of the court his whole life, and has never had to learn a trade or be tied to a job. We found out in 1x14 that his mother had been given her own luxurious estates, meaning that he had freedom to come and go from court as a young man. Bash himself now holds a title and is married to a lady of nobility. Being a bastard has in no way hurt his prospects—with the exception of his desire to marry a queen—and any stigma he may have felt about not being legitimate was surely assuaged somewhat by the knowledge that he was loved by his father above all others.

Mary is gonna be so angry at herself for not conceiving a child. She is going to be so sad and probably become depressed because she cannot produce an heir. On top of that she has to watch as her husband father a child, who is not hers, with her lady in waiting. I feel so bad for my sweet Mary. She never asked for any of this. I give so much credit to her for putting up with a horrible lady in waiting/ “best friend” and her child whom she had with Francis.” You’re right. This is going to be very hard for Mary. I do not like this storyline and would love to see it gone. But to say that “sweet Mary never asked for any of this” is a bit of a stretch. No, she did not ask for it, but it was she who created the situation and environment that allowed this to occur. At the time of the conception, she, Lola, and Francis all believed that Mary and Francis were dunzo and would never see one another again.

Now to add to that Mary has to deal with Francis’ big growing ego just because he is king. He is basically yelling at Mary in the promo “I am your king and I am more powerful than you!” when in reality Mary has is more badass than Francis will ever be.” I do not like the way his statement was worded in the promo, but I do not blame him for the sentiment, for Mary would be saying the same thing in his position. By essentially killing Narcisse’s son, Mary has brought the wrath of a great power onto their heads. I sympathize with her because she was in a situation in which she was forced to make a decision without Francis. However, had the situation been reversed and Francis had done something hugely detrimental to Scotland, do you think for one second that she wouldn’t have been up in his face shouting that she was the queen, that she and her country are one and the same, that she will put Scotland above all else?

Oh. Wait. She has said all those things.

I’m so tired of everyone condemning Francis for the very things for which they applaud Mary. They are both young rulers, and facing the same sorts of internal and external problems. Just because Francis is a male does not automatically make him an asshole every time he tries to exert his powers. Likewise, Mary is not a hero every time she does the same simply because she is female. They are both capable of great and terrible things, regardless of their gender.

I agree with you that the baby plot is wrong, and I do believe the ratings are going to continue to suffer. Blaming it all on Francis, though, is not fair.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but when this sort of thing is in the Frary tag, it’s deliberately provoking a response.

Allelujah! STOP the Double Standard. Whether you root for Mary or Francis, please use your head and remind yourself: Am I looking at them with blinders on? Am I guilty of DOUBLE STANDARD? Or maybe lm not that mature enough to understand the storyline? Frankly, this is why I think Reign writers and producers should put a mature tv rating on Reign. Let’s face it, storylines like these, some teens don’t understand it. Even though, they insist they do. And we know, how insistent they are. Also, there are also non-teens who don’t understand it.

*69
kayeberrie:

This twelvepence Scottish groat dates from 1559, during the time of Mary Stuart’s marriage to the Dauphin of France.
Front: The joined monogram of Mary and Francis is topped with a crown and flanked on one side by a dolphin—a nod toward Francis’s then-title—and on the other a thistle. Along the edges are the words "FRAN ET MAR D G R R SCOTOR D D VIEN", meaning Francis and Mary, by the grace of God, king and queen of Scotland.
Reverse: A panel bearing the legend "IAM NON SVNT DVO SED VNA CARO." This phrase, taken from the gospel of Saint Matthew, translates:
They are no longer two, but one flesh.



Oh. they used the Scottish coin of Mary and Francis. I can get around that.

kayeberrie:

This twelvepence Scottish groat dates from 1559, during the time of Mary Stuart’s marriage to the Dauphin of France.

Front: The joined monogram of Mary and Francis is topped with a crown and flanked on one side by a dolphin—a nod toward Francis’s then-title—and on the other a thistle. Along the edges are the words "FRAN ET MAR D G R R SCOTOR D D VIEN", meaning Francis and Mary, by the grace of God, king and queen of Scotland.

Reverse: A panel bearing the legend "IAM NON SVNT DVO SED VNA CARO." This phrase, taken from the gospel of Saint Matthew, translates:

They are no longer two, but one flesh.

Oh. they used the Scottish coin of Mary and Francis. I can get around that.

*27

kayeberrie:

"After she was married to the dauphin, Mary altered her monogram so that the Greek letter mu (M) was inscribed within the letter phi (Φ), to be transliterated as M and F, for Mary and Francis.”

- John Guy, The True Life of Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots

bottom left: monogram as it appears on Reign
bottom right: actual monogram used by Mary Stuart throughout her life

Why can’t they use the real one?

kayeberrie:

“A beautiful locket was designed by Mary for presentation to the noble Scotch assistants at her nuptials, and those she particularly desired to propitiate. A fine specimen of this jewel is in possession of a noble Scottish family. The outside is of filigree gold, set with a wreath of pearls and fleurs de souvenance, in blue turquoise. On touching a spring, it opens each way, to show enamel miniatures of herself and her young husband, in the costumes they then wore. The portrait of Francis is on the largest valve, that of Mary on the inner valve forming the lid; so that when closed her face rests on his bosom.”
- Agnes Strickland, The Life of Mary Queen of Scots, Volume I

kayeberrie:

“A beautiful locket was designed by Mary for presentation to the noble Scotch assistants at her nuptials, and those she particularly desired to propitiate. A fine specimen of this jewel is in possession of a noble Scottish family. The outside is of filigree gold, set with a wreath of pearls and fleurs de souvenance, in blue turquoise. On touching a spring, it opens each way, to show enamel miniatures of herself and her young husband, in the costumes they then wore. The portrait of Francis is on the largest valve, that of Mary on the inner valve forming the lid; so that when closed her face rests on his bosom.”

- Agnes Strickland, The Life of Mary Queen of Scots, Volume I

sammysdimples:

i will defend james potter to the fucking death

/ will join you.

(via bulletandsophia)

kayeberrie:

“Elizabeth’s ambassadors, Sir Nicolas Throckmorton and Sir Peter Mewtas, came to Villers-Coterêts on the 31st of August to present their credentials to the young Sovereigns of France and Scotland, who, for reasons of state etiquette, received them in separate presence chambers. When they had delivered their letters of congratulations to Francis on his accession to the throne of France, they would have introduced the affairs of Scotland, but Francis stopped them, saying—
‘On that subject, you must speak with my Queen.’”
- Agnes Strickland, The Life of Mary Queen of Scots, Volume I

😍👸👼😻😻😻I find Francis SO awesome that he didn’t act all macho and try to manage Scotland.  Instead, he made it known  that his wife Mary, the Queen, can rule On Her Own. Especially, with her Own Country Scotland.

kayeberrie:

“Elizabeth’s ambassadors, Sir Nicolas Throckmorton and Sir Peter Mewtas, came to Villers-Coterêts on the 31st of August to present their credentials to the young Sovereigns of France and Scotland, who, for reasons of state etiquette, received them in separate presence chambers. When they had delivered their letters of congratulations to Francis on his accession to the throne of France, they would have introduced the affairs of Scotland, but Francis stopped them, saying—

On that subject, you must speak with my Queen.’”

- Agnes Strickland, The Life of Mary Queen of Scots, Volume I

😍👸👼😻😻😻


I find Francis SO awesome that he didn’t act all macho and try to manage Scotland. Instead, he made it known that his wife Mary, the Queen, can rule On Her Own. Especially, with her Own Country Scotland.

This gonna be a movie or what?
Counting the days, Marvel gives this foursome a go!

This gonna be a movie or what?

Counting the days, Marvel gives this foursome a go!

(Source: wadewilson4president)

*35
izitshalo:

“The speed at which the sakura blossom petals fall… Five centimeters per second..”

izitshalo:

The speed at which the sakura blossom petals fall… Five centimeters per second..”

(via davnilorzai)

buckydixon:

dottyasyouplease:

that tree looks so happy that it is receiving a hug from this child

I AM GROOT

buckydixon:

dottyasyouplease:

that tree looks so happy that it is receiving a hug from this child

I AM GROOT

(Source: gypsymoongoddess, via happiesthobbit)